I hit the snooze button at least 3 times each morning. The sun comes up and starts shining into my bedroom while I shrink away under the covers and mumble profanities to my pillow case. This happens without fail every morning. And I've tried it all! I put my alarm clock across the room, I just end up sprinting out of bed, smashing it to pieces in my adrenaline rush and hissing at it from the safety of my bed once I've returned to the sleepy warmth that is my fleecy blanket.
I've tried leaving my curtains wide open, more hissing occurs. I've tried setting a radio alarm so I can wake up slowly and work my way up to consciousness by listening to other peoples' voices. That one actually seems to work.
This happens every night where I set my alarm clock for a time that seems the most logical for getting everything done that I want done that morning. Oh yeah, 8:30am seems fine when I'm sitting in my tempurpedic bed and playing puzzle games online until I'm beyond the point of tired. "Well I'm not sleepy now," I say to myself, "so I won't have a problem waking up tomorrow if I'm already well rested."
Let me put that into context for you.
It is 3am, I've been saying, "One last round," on online pictionary for the past hour, all my night owl friends have gone to bed, and I am so beyond the point of reason that I don't think I even need sleep.
It's no wonder I wake up each morning feeling like I've been hit by a train.
Well, I tried something new today! I employed all of those tactics I mentioned previously but at the same time and I actually just hopped out of bed and rushed myself to the bathroom where I splashed my face with cold water and did a cleansing scrub. I had been planning on doing the bike in the morning but Jasper kept me up all effing night chasing a hair tie that I found this morning in his water dish so when I woke up I wasn't thrilled about that idea...also there wasn't enough time really. I got dressed in 3 minutes and for some reason just automatically plopped down onto my carpet (that needs to be CLEANED. ew, craigslist!) and did two sets of 15 sit ups. I did the same thing last night right before I went to bed so I didn't want to overdo it but it felt great.
Then something amazing happened. I did push-ups. Yeah, yeah, okay they were girly push-ups with the knees and everything but I don't think anyone understands how weak my arms are. I feel like SpongeBob sometimes trying to lift a plastic bar with stuffed animals on the ends of it for dumbbells. Yeah....but I did 5 push-ups!!! FIVE. CINCO. CINQ. FUNF. 5. I couldn't even do one my whole childhood when I weighed a little less. I actually weighed a lot more proportionally, I used to be quite chubs so maybe that's why.
When I was in elementary school I was pretty overweight. I wasn't morbidly obese but to put it into perspective, in third grade I was 5'0" and 130 pounds. Ouch. Being called "fat" was definitely in my daily schedule in those years.
But I won't get into that today, that topic is a long and complicated one. Being overweight and bullied as a kid really changed my outlook on social situations and kind of transformed my focus from outward--judging everyone and everything around me--to inward, judging everything about myself. In a way, harboring that mentality allows me to be realistic about my health to a point that is appropriate (though this took many years to master). I'm not fooled by my pretty blue eyes or the freckles on my nose or my wavy blonde hair, I've been convinced those things are beautiful about me. The difference is that it doesn't keep me from being self critical about my habits. It wouldn't matter whether I looked like Kate Hudson or Susan Boyle, junk food makes me feel terrible and being inactive brings aches and pains.
This only reiterates my desire to write this blog every day.
So I have piano class in about half an hour and afterwards I am prepared to follow today's plan of getting everything done as soon as possible, while the sun is still shining, so as to save the sloth for later when I'm already feeling accomplished. I'll be going through my usual scale routine on bassoon as a part of my warm up that I've been doing. I took time off but then took longer than I intended with my kidney infection so I'm working my way back into the swing of things. It's also extremely hard to want to practice these days knowing my new instrument is on its way and my current one sucks so hard. Anyways, after bassoon I'm doing laundry, then stretching and running (or walking), bike after that for a cool down (good for the knees), and fixing a nice hearty lunch. I'll probably settle down into my cozy bed with the sun still shining in my room so I can finish my theory homework and send nasty emails to the rental company that screwed me over.
Today will be productive. I think the key to that is how I begin. :)
Stats: (completed at night)
-(I will do a weekly weight update due to my lack of scale access)
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