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Sunday, 25 December 2011

Merry Christmas. Day 223 or so.

I am not surprised that I didn't post until Christmas vacation. I've had a crazy semester (that's everyone's excuse, right?) and this poor little blog has been neglected ever since.

I am surprised however, that I accomplished what I never thought was possible for me. I ran for 25 minutes without stopping today. That was the inspiration for posting here after all this time.

But I'm getting ahead of myself. Let's update, shall we?

Since september when I was having problems with physio, I have improved my muscle health almost full scale. My legs don't hurt anymore (except the few times I push myself to break a new record, but that still doesn't always result in pain) and I don't seem to be having any muscle issues so that is a huge personal win for me. I was really concerned that I couldn't walk easily at 20 years old and for someone who approaches music like a sport, I was letting myself down by not keeping my body in tip top shape. We musicians have to be able to perform until we retire, afterall. At least that's how I see it.

Moving onwards into the fall semester, the stress of deadlines and being busy in general led me to lose 25 pounds. That's a lot, right?! People said they saw it in my face, I felt it in my clothes, my waist. I was 195 in the summer (and very depressed about it) and I dropped down to 170. I had to buy new gap jeans. Boo hoo. :P Anyways, this jumpstart semester slimming was brought on by a new budget, less time to worry about food, and less opportunity to eat it. I basically had frozen veggies and wild rice in my house for a long time, save for some bullion cubes that I used to season.

Now, the weight loss was appreciated. I severely miss my tennis physique. I long for the days that I don't cringe at my puffy cheeks in pictures, even though no one seems to notice, I yearn for the days I didn't even think once let alone twice about any unsightly body fat making appearances in my clothes, and it seems crazy but I miss the days when I felt absolutely stunning (I was such a character, I KNEW I was pretty...pfft). The point to this was that I just didn't feel that way anymore. It's a priveleged life, to be completely comfortable in your own body. It's also earned.

I went on a mission to earn my body back, for my own confidence and for my music.

I knew the scrounging around for food schtick wasn't conducive to long term weight loss, it was a fluke, really. I welcomed the stimulus though, so I kept at my attempts to eat well and to exercise frequently. Frequently became often which became enough which became sometimes which eventually became not enough and at this point exercise was so low on my priority list that I didn't even have the energy to think about it. I had a musical, competitions, audition tapes, a jury, seriously petty but obnoxiously dramatic conflict in my studio, and I wasn't getting along with my private teacher. My stationary bike became a hanger for my winter coats.

Well that's life. We run into obstacles, some of them we can see coming ahead of time and some of them are seemingly out of the blue. And it's how we deal with them that really tests our character. I handled most of my problems really well. I know which ones I did not do so well with and I try not to think about those things. The end result is that I had a very successful jury and made some good tapes for summer programs and managed a 3.75 gpa, despite my setbacks.

Lesson of 2011:

1. Don't play in musicals. Just don't do it.
2. Prepare for big events with way more time than seems necessary.
3. Not everyone will like you and there's not much you can do about it.
4. Exercise is necessary not only for physical health but for mental health.
5. Best friends and loved ones are the foundation of life.
6. Pie is perfectly acceptable as payment for most debts.
7. The rumors of meeting the love of your life when you stop looking are true.

So that's the update. I'm enjoying my vacation and my family. I'm enjoying the opportunity to practice and exercise. It's also been brought to my attention by my heterosexual life partner that I am a talented writer and therefore should update this more frequently. Alright.

Merry Christmas!

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